Audition Notice
DRINKING HABITS
DATES: January 13 & 14, 2026
TIME: TBD
LOCATION: Coaster Theatre Playhouse
PERFORMANCE DATES: March 20-April 18, 2026 (13 shows)
WRITTEN BY Tom Smith
DIRECTED BY Mick Alderman
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MISTAKEN IDENTITIES, WINE, AND LOTS OF LAUGHS
Mistaken identities, accusations, and romances run wild in this laugh-out-loud farce. Two nuns at the Sisters of Perpetual Sewing have been making and selling wine in secret to keep the convent’s doors open, but Paul and Sally, reporters and former fiancees, are hot on their trail. They go undercover as a nun and priest, but their presence, combined with the addition of a new nun, spurs paranoia throughout the convent that spies have been sent from Rome to shut them down. Wine and secrets are inevitably spilled as everyone tries to preserve the convent and reconnect with lost loves.
CHARACTERS:
SISTER PHILAMENA (20s-mid-50s): One of the three nuns who lives at the Sisters of Perpetual Sewing. Has secretly been making wine for several years with Sister Augusta in order to keep the convent open. Devout and dedicated to her calling. Joyful and humorous. Incapable of lying. Must have excellent comic timing and move well.
SISTER AUGUSTA (20s-mid 50s): One of the three nuns who lives at the Sisters of Perpetual Sewing. Has secretly been making wine for several years with Sister Philamena in order to keep the convent open. Devout and dedicated to her calling. Joyful and humorous. Must have excellent comic timing and move well.
GEORGE (20s-30s): Caretaker and gardener at the convent. George isn’t dumb, but he’s not the brightest person. Must have excellent comic timing and move well.
MOTHER SUPERIOR (40s-early 60s): She has been in charge of the Sisters of Perpetual Sewing for many years. Hates alcohol, especially wine. Must have excellent comic timing and move well.
PAUL (mid-20s): A newspaper reporter. Co-worker and former fiancé of Sally. Paul is an orphan. He’s a good writer, but his conscience sometimes gets in the way of his reporting. Must have excellent comic timing and move well and quickly.
SALLY (mid-20s): Award-winning newspaper reporter. Used to be engaged to Paul. Left him standing at the altar on their wedding day to cover an important story. Quick-witted and sometimes sharp-tongued. Must have excellent comic timing and move well.
SISTER MARY CATHERINE (mid-20s): A novice nun sent to the convent to finish her training. Meek & timid. Must have excellent comic timing and move well.
FATHER CHENILLE (40s-early 60s): Priest of the local parish next door to the convent. Patient, understanding, and a little clumsy. Must have excellent comic timing and move well.
